Later in THE REASON

The downfall of these early zombie hunters was when the zombies got lawyers. A positive sounding “arrgg.” was judged enough to hire an archaic hungry lawyer willing to work for free; not like the greedy ones today. The argument went: “Is it OK to just kill the undead?” “They want to eat our brains!” “Does that not make them a dietary ethnic group? And thus a protected subculture?” “Feed them a brain replacement!” The smart zombie hunters became zombie chow salespeople; after all they know how to find zombies. The government found it cheaper to feed the zombies and pay their lawyers then to pay to clean up the mayhem they and the zombie hunters cause. Much of the zombie food hits the ground as they “eat it”,anyway, to keep them occupied for days. Some tasty brain chow tamed zombies could be turned to work minor tasks thus making money for everyone. This spawned a whole new language blip where a “cheap lunch” was called “brains” and to discover you had been working for some cheap fake was exclaimed: “I'm working for brains here!”

Eventually this community of lawyer-ed up zombie “survivors” died out as they don't reproduce well without the chasing and biting non-zombies. The causes of most zombie deaths was studied since the undead can supposedly live forever, to show many shotgun mishaps, chainsaw stumblings, vehicle impactments, active volcano crater lips. For awhile excursions to active volcanoes was a popular gift vacation to give to a zombie relative. It turned into sort of a “accidental” genocide or maybe self-extinction. Insurance companies had to rethink their considering an undead person a good risk.

“That's it! That's what I need! Zombie chow!”

And then I found it: “CARE AND FEEDING OF YOUR NEW Hoodoo brand HORDE of ZOMBIES”...